bus
Ah...traveling...what an experience! I just love it when you're sitting on airplane in front of a screaming infant that punctuates their performance by shitting themselves.
However, an airplane is a much more luxurious mode of travel compared to that of a Peter Pan coach bus speeding from New York City to Boston (Which by the way is better than the Fung-Wah - China Town to China Town line, because those busses explode in a ball of flames).
My most recent trip from Boston to New York was fairly interesting. I was traveling with my mother on the Peter Pan line. Normally I would take the fung-wah but I felt that if the bus caught fire I could swiftly exit although my mother could not.
Anyway, here are some highlights of the trip to New York:
- I sat next to a kid from Ethiopia.
- My mother sat next to a woman who was catatonic.
The bus ride back was more exciting. It started when we were in line for the bus and the manager of Peter Pan basically told us all that we were idiots because we missed the bus to Framingham Massachusetts, our destination. This was due to the fact that we were standing in the line marked "Bus to Framingham" and not along the perpendicular yellow wall. According to the manager of the Peter Pan bus line, "Everybody knows that on Fridays and Sundays Framingham lines up against the yellow wall."
Thank you bus manager...it is easy to see why the other employees of Peter Pan are happy to call you their manager. Nevertheless, we had been waiting in a line clearly marked for the bus that we wanted. Couldn't someone have told us that if you wanted to go to Framingham you had to line up against the yellow wall? How about hanging a sign, or taking the sign that is up down, or taking the sign that is up down and re-hanging it on the yellow wall!?!?
According to the manager "a guy in dreads came by and announced for people going to Framingham to along the wall." Well, nobody saw or heard the "guy in dreads." Did he work for the bus company or was he just some guy in dreads who knew the Friday/Sunday rule. Seriously, nobody heard or saw "dreads." I know this because there were about 15 other people in same position as us, and my mother took the time to ask everyone else if they had seen this man. In addition the manager told us that he would take us to Framingham anyway because he was so nice (and because his system didn't make any sense).
The bus driver himself was an interesting character. Having arrived recently from some Asian nation he was very hard to understand when he used the PA system. However, he did say, "If somebody on their cell phone, tell them be quiet. If they don't tell me. I tell them shut up!" Seriously he yelled that. I couldn't believe it was happening while my mom, who was sitting next to me, laughed hysterically.
Next he told us that he would start the movie in 30 minutes, and immediately started playing Duma...a movie about a cheetah. I don't even think he stopped speaking before he played the cheetah movie. Yes, it is about a cheetah, and no, it is not animated.
The highlight of the trip home came when the driver pulled the express bus (no stops) over into a rest station and announced a 20 minute break. People were not happy with this and yelled at the bus driver not to stop. He did stop the bus, and screamed into the microphone, "I need go bathroom!" and sprinted off the bus while tossing the microphone to the bus manager that was along for the ride...apparently the driver was trainee and needed the erudite supervision from the man that we already proved was highly intelligent.
The bus manager quickly listened to the complaints from the passengers and came up with a brilliant idea that he announced on the microphone.
"Ok, the driver has to use the bathroom, so we will wait for him. In the meantime nobody get off the bus, and we will proceed when the driver returns."
This was met with a variety of complaints that was highlighted with this exchange between the manager and some concerned woman. Please remember that the bus manager is speaking over a PA system.
The woman said, "But I need to use the bathroom."
"Just go ahead and use the bathroom on the bus."
She stood up and exclaimed, "But there's no sink in there!" and more people began to make their way toward the front.
"People please remain seated, and if you need the bathroom use the one located on the back of the bus." More people started to get up to get off the bus, prompting the driver to realize the situation and say, ( OVER THE PA SYSTEM!) "fuck it, I can't keep people from going to the bathroom...go ahead as quickly as possible...DON'T BUY ANY FOOD!"
Some guy bought food and he tried to sneak in on the bus. Apparently he didn't realize that fried chicken produces a very heavy aroma.
The bus driver, who was now back on the bus got so mad that he screamed, "He told you no buy food! If I no eat lunch...you no eat lunch!"
Meanwhile, all that I can think of is it's 9pm and lunch was a few hours ago.
Anyway, just thought I would share a little bit of what kept me entertained on a relatively uneventful journey.
However, an airplane is a much more luxurious mode of travel compared to that of a Peter Pan coach bus speeding from New York City to Boston (Which by the way is better than the Fung-Wah - China Town to China Town line, because those busses explode in a ball of flames).
My most recent trip from Boston to New York was fairly interesting. I was traveling with my mother on the Peter Pan line. Normally I would take the fung-wah but I felt that if the bus caught fire I could swiftly exit although my mother could not.
Anyway, here are some highlights of the trip to New York:
- I sat next to a kid from Ethiopia.
- My mother sat next to a woman who was catatonic.
The bus ride back was more exciting. It started when we were in line for the bus and the manager of Peter Pan basically told us all that we were idiots because we missed the bus to Framingham Massachusetts, our destination. This was due to the fact that we were standing in the line marked "Bus to Framingham" and not along the perpendicular yellow wall. According to the manager of the Peter Pan bus line, "Everybody knows that on Fridays and Sundays Framingham lines up against the yellow wall."
Thank you bus manager...it is easy to see why the other employees of Peter Pan are happy to call you their manager. Nevertheless, we had been waiting in a line clearly marked for the bus that we wanted. Couldn't someone have told us that if you wanted to go to Framingham you had to line up against the yellow wall? How about hanging a sign, or taking the sign that is up down, or taking the sign that is up down and re-hanging it on the yellow wall!?!?
According to the manager "a guy in dreads came by and announced for people going to Framingham to along the wall." Well, nobody saw or heard the "guy in dreads." Did he work for the bus company or was he just some guy in dreads who knew the Friday/Sunday rule. Seriously, nobody heard or saw "dreads." I know this because there were about 15 other people in same position as us, and my mother took the time to ask everyone else if they had seen this man. In addition the manager told us that he would take us to Framingham anyway because he was so nice (and because his system didn't make any sense).
The bus driver himself was an interesting character. Having arrived recently from some Asian nation he was very hard to understand when he used the PA system. However, he did say, "If somebody on their cell phone, tell them be quiet. If they don't tell me. I tell them shut up!" Seriously he yelled that. I couldn't believe it was happening while my mom, who was sitting next to me, laughed hysterically.
Next he told us that he would start the movie in 30 minutes, and immediately started playing Duma...a movie about a cheetah. I don't even think he stopped speaking before he played the cheetah movie. Yes, it is about a cheetah, and no, it is not animated.
The highlight of the trip home came when the driver pulled the express bus (no stops) over into a rest station and announced a 20 minute break. People were not happy with this and yelled at the bus driver not to stop. He did stop the bus, and screamed into the microphone, "I need go bathroom!" and sprinted off the bus while tossing the microphone to the bus manager that was along for the ride...apparently the driver was trainee and needed the erudite supervision from the man that we already proved was highly intelligent.
The bus manager quickly listened to the complaints from the passengers and came up with a brilliant idea that he announced on the microphone.
"Ok, the driver has to use the bathroom, so we will wait for him. In the meantime nobody get off the bus, and we will proceed when the driver returns."
This was met with a variety of complaints that was highlighted with this exchange between the manager and some concerned woman. Please remember that the bus manager is speaking over a PA system.
The woman said, "But I need to use the bathroom."
"Just go ahead and use the bathroom on the bus."
She stood up and exclaimed, "But there's no sink in there!" and more people began to make their way toward the front.
"People please remain seated, and if you need the bathroom use the one located on the back of the bus." More people started to get up to get off the bus, prompting the driver to realize the situation and say, ( OVER THE PA SYSTEM!) "fuck it, I can't keep people from going to the bathroom...go ahead as quickly as possible...DON'T BUY ANY FOOD!"
Some guy bought food and he tried to sneak in on the bus. Apparently he didn't realize that fried chicken produces a very heavy aroma.
The bus driver, who was now back on the bus got so mad that he screamed, "He told you no buy food! If I no eat lunch...you no eat lunch!"
Meanwhile, all that I can think of is it's 9pm and lunch was a few hours ago.
Anyway, just thought I would share a little bit of what kept me entertained on a relatively uneventful journey.
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